Remember

Remember those fuzzy posters everyone used to color? So does Tyler. We went to the craft store yesterday and the kids each came home with one and so did he.

My mom had bought Christmas presents for her grand kids before she died. This was what she bought for Hadlee.

It was such a cute present. Hadlee loved stuffing the bear and dressing it and sewing it up. While we were doing it, it hit me that this was the last present Hadlee would ever get from her Grandma Phyllis. I didn't put it in those terms when I was talking to her about it, but I still wanted to get a picture.

All I want for New Year's

She missed being able to sing the song for Christmas by a couple days.
Did you know that the tooth fairy gives 5 BUCKS for a tooth in Grand Junction. I know, pretty steep, right? Don't tell your kids or they will all be wanting to move there.

Cabin Fever

We spent a couple days with Jared and Julia at their cabin in Scofield. My kids LOVED the snow. They stayed out for hours playing in it. Which is way longer than they ever did when we lived in it and I would bundle them up to go outside. 10 minutes later they were too cold. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder.
We had so much fun hanging out with Jared and Julia and their kids.



























I think when I grow up I want to live in Hawaii and have a cabin in Scofield. Ü

Christmas Day

We had planned on going to the beach for Christmas. Instead we got to spend it in Grand Junction with The Tatton family (minus Jared). It was FREEZING, but so fun.

Calvin's gift from Hadlee that we conveniently left at grandmas. We don't need anyone getting hit over the head with an ax, even if it is fake.

Hadlee got this dog that walks itself. Among many other things.

Ellah got a hair crimper. Need I say more?

Calvin, enjoying some snowman peeps.
Christmas was a success. I always say we aren't going to go over board but then feel like Christmas was extravagant. Of course it helped being at Grandma and Papa's this year with them and Kate to spoil us. We were so lucky to be with family.

Christmas gone digital

This is what your Christmas post card would have looked like if you had received one in the mail. Don't feel bad that you didn't. I haven't even gotten my stack of blanks out of the mailbox yet. I paid extra shipping so they would be there sooner and I could get them sent out.

I make plans and then life changes and plans turn into just plans, no action.

I truly hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve

I think it will forever be known as the "Cornish Game Hen Incident." Someone decided that they weren't cooked enough so hardly anyone ate them. I ate the breasts of mine (I know that might sound weird) and it was fine and Calvin didn't seem to notice.
Tyler and Louie smiling
Our Christmas Eve pajama shot. This year instead of going with the matching Christmas theme, I just went with comfy pajamas. I didn't have much time to shop and didn't feel like I could accomplish both so I just went with the latter. I am glad I did. I think everyone loved their pajamas this year and that is a first.

Hadlee and Ellah
Kate and Ellah

Price

Things I want to remember about my 5 days in Price

1. Staying up past 2 am almost every night with my brothers and sister playing games
2. giving everyone high five with fingers spread apart
3. How proud I was of all of my siblings
4. Picking out the casket, plot, flowers, and funeral program and how well we all worked together
5. No one fought over anything. (except that small freak out I had on Matthew.)
6. All the food and nice things that people in my mom's ward contributed.
7. How my dad and Jan let their house serve as a home base for all of us. (that's where everyone brought the food too.)
8. Going to Carol's ward and seeing their Christmas program, in which Brother Walton spoke. We got tot talk to him after and he told me how thrilled he was I was active. All I could say was, "Me too."
8. Brother Walton was talking to Tyler about me at the viewing and Tyler told him, "She saved us both."
9. How little everyone outside our family really knew my mom.

The Funeral

The Program:

I have never had the best relationship with my mother and even with her death it seems it's more complicated. But these are the things I wanted to remember about the funeral:

1. Chrissy and I putting on her veil before they lowered her body and then closed the casket and how surreal and horrific it felt.
2. Walking into the chapel and not seeing a soul. I have no idea who was there. I didn't look at anyone.
3. My tender-hearted, 18 year old sister saying the opening prayer and asking Heavenly Father to, "Take care of my mom."
4. My hulking younger brother, Aaron, chocking up as he read the obituary.
5. My mom's angelic grandchildren all singing, "I Am A Child of God," and Calvin saying the last two words, "some day," very loudly into the microphone.
6. My older brother, Ryan, giving, what some say, was the best talk they had ever heard.
7. The crazy girl that my mom had living with us for a while coming up to us during the funeral and asking if she could get up and speak. I told Ryan she wanted to talk to him. Let him handle it.
8. The sight of all my brothers and my husband carrying my mom's casket to the grave site.
9. The Lunch after and all the family members we haven't seen since the last funeral.
10. How much harder it would all be than I ever thought.

Matthew gave Calvin one of his old bow ties. This is him before the funeral.

Phyllis Oliveto Cox

This was the obituary. How it appeared online and in the paper:

PRICE-Phyllis Oliveto Cox, age 54, of Price, Utah passed away Thursday, December 16, 2010.
She was born February 1. 1956 in Price, Utah to Dominic and Ileene Sargent Oliveto.
Phyllis graduated from Carbon High School in 1974 and continued her education at Brigham Young University, graduating in 1978. She enjoyed teaching and spent over 20 years dedicated to educating children in the Carbon School District. In 2007, Phyllis was awarded the Wal-Mart and Arch Coal Golden Apple Awards for her outstanding achievements in education. She shared a deep passion for swimming and coaching the Carbon High School Swim Team. Phyllis was the mother of six children and was very active in their lives.
She is survived by her son Ryan and his wife Jennifer and grandchildren Benjamin, Leah and Grace, all of Saratoga Springs, Utah; daughter Amanda and her husband Tyler Tatton and grandchildren Hadlee and Calvin, all of Laie, Hawaii; son Aaron and his fiancé Ashley Boyack of Helper; son David and his wife Kaitlin of Pocatello, Idaho; daughter Christine of Price; and son Matthew of Price; her mother Ileene Oliveto of Price; sister Annette and her husband Jimmy Callor of Helper; brother Dominic Oliveto and his wife Jan of Rock Springs, Wyoming; and many other close relatives and friends.
Phyllis was preceded in death by her father, Dominic Oliveto.
Funeral service, Tuesday, December 21, 2010, 1:00 p.m., Price Eighth LDS Ward. Family will be at Mitchell Funeral Home Monday evening from 6:00-8:00 p.m. and at the church Tuesday from 11:30- 12:40. Interment, Price City Cemetery. Family and friends are welcome at Mitchell Funeral Home daily and may share memories of Phyllis online at www.mitchellfuneralhome.net

What Could Have Been

I got into Price yesterday at about 4:30 in the afternoon after flying all night. My dad took me straight to the mortuary where the rest of the family was waiting to make all the arrangements.

Today we all went to my mom's house with the intention of getting anything that was of value to us. While going through some things in the garage, my brother, Davey, found this framed photograph of me and my mom.

It made tears immediately start falling from my eyes. Not because I missed my mom and needed to see her, but because it signified the relationship I have always longed to have with my mother, but never got the chance to. I will cherish it and keep it to remind me of what I want with Hadlee (and Calvin). Peaceful. contentment. love. It makes me sad to see this picture and wonder what could have been. If a few things had been different, maybe I could have had the mother I wanted all my life. Priorities are important. I don't want either of my children to ever feel this way.
I didn't take much else away from the house.
Maybe this was the most important thing I could have taken.

The Airport

Hadlee, at the Honolulu Airport, awaiting our all night flight.

last night

In the Blink of an Eye

It's funny how life can change in the blink of an eye. I woke up this morning with my Christmas to do list in mind. I needed to put together picture books for my in-laws and my dad and Jan for Christmas. The morning started out like any other. I took Calvin to school, came back, got Hadlee breakfast and started working on my picture books.

By 11:00, I was on the phone with an ER doctor in Price and he was asking me if it was okay to stop CPR on my 54 year old mother. They had tried to get my 18 year old sister to make the decision. She couldn't do it so they called me. The doctor told me that she didn't have any brain activity and hadn't since they got her to the ER and that even if by some miracle, her heart started beating by itself, she would be a vegetable. It was a simple decision. But still not one anyone wants to make. By the time I picked Calvin up from school, we all had flights to leave tonight for Utah and the rest of my to do list had been canceled. No gifts for neighbors, no time to make my kids the Christmas presents I wanted to, no time to send out the Christmas post cards that I paid extra to rush here, and no time to finish the rest of my shopping.

Things I want to remember about today:
1. My step mom was the first to call and tell me that my mom was on her way to the hospital in an ambulance.
2. Calling and telling Ryan and worrying about my other siblings.
3. Not knowing if I needed to go home or not and asking Chrissy if she needed me to.
4. Chrissy texting me later and asking me to come.
5. Jan texting me saying that my brothers and sister needed me to come home if I could.
6. The Tattons volunteering to not only fly me home, but the whole family to spend Christmas there.
7. How my mom dying made me feel closer to my whole family instantly.
8. How much it affected me and how surprising it was. I started to wonder who I was now.

Stealing Santas

Lately I have been quizzing Hadlee. "Hadlee, what do you do if someone offers you candy to come with them?" "Hadlee, what do you do if an adult asks you for help?" "Hadlee, what do you do if someone tells you I sent them to pick you up?"
She is getting sick of it, but it's my job.
Today, at the mall, we were in line for them to get a picture with Santa and a thought occurred to me. What kid wouldn't get in the car with Santa?
I will make sure mine d0esn't.
"Hadlee, what do you do if someone dressed as Santa tells you to come with them or get in their car?"
Might not have been the best timing.
Not one of my strong points; timing.
The people taking the picture kept telling her to relax.
Could you relax if you were sitting there, worried if Santa was going to try to steal you or not? Probably not.

Calvin on the other hand was right as rain.

so pretty

The sky was so pretty last night. Right outside our front door.